• Monique Harding

"It's not my fault" - no, but it is your responsibility

Honestly, when I sat down and planned content for this blog, Will Smith motivational videos didn't exactly spring to mind. He's not exactly on my radar in terms of great psychological mentors. But here we are.....

One of my amazing clients actually spoke about this video in session. She had spent the last ten years trapped in victim mode, blaming all the things she was unhappy about on others and the message here really resonated. This woman has worked incredibly hard to move through her trauma and is redefining the life that she wants to live. When she spoke about this video, I knew I had to check it out.

Although, it is not without it's hollywood effects, I really like the message here. Too often we place fault and responsibility in the same basket when they are in fact two very different things. I see this often in my practice; family members who won't say "I'm sorry" because their behaviour was not intentional and individuals with past scars that continue to lay blame for their current suffering on ghosts from their past. Let me be clear, if you are waiting for those who have hurt you to invest in your recovery, you are likely to be waiting a long time. It starts with us and it ends with us.

Some awful things have often happened to the people I see in clinic. Heartbreaking, unimaginable traumas leaving horrific memories. But, despite this, each and everyday, I continue to see people move forward. I see people from the darkest pasts find light in their lives and reshape their story.

You can too.

I'd love to hear your thoughts,


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