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  • Monique Harding

Core Desire Series - No.1 The Desire to Connect


I wouldn’t be a very good relationship focussed therapist if I didn’t kick this series off with our first desire as #1 - The Desire to Connect.

Connection is multifaceted and can include; 1. With ourselves - to know ourselves at a deeper level 2. With each other 3. With nature

Ways that you may be achieving connection with self; • Meditation • Mindfulness • Therapy • Self-expression (dance, surf, paint, draw, sculpt - get lost in it) • Journalling • Conscious self-examination

With others; • Good communication! It builds and sustains relationships and community • Accept and respecting others views • Online connection • Sharing experiences / being in the presence of others

With nature; • Gardening • Bushwalking • Surfing • Swimming in the ocean • Playing in the sand • Feet in the grass • Indoor plans

What happens when we don’t connect on all three levels? • Social Researcher, Hugh Mackay argues that two of the other desires tend to expand in an unhealthy way. Those being; the desire for control and the desire to be taken seriously.

Questions for self-growth [?] How much time do you currently dedicate each week to connecting with yourself? [?] What is the current balance across self/other and nature for you? [?] Is this balance working for you? [?] If not, what is one small step you could take from today to work towards creating a more harmonious balance of the three? [?] When was the last time you entered another persons experience, without judgement or evaluation? If you allowed it, how did this impact / change you? [?] How do you boundary your online connection? Could you flirt with checking email just once an hour or your social media once a day? How would this change the way you interact with others? How would you communicate with them in other ways?

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